Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude towards a situation where they feel they have been wronged. We experience forgiveness in two ways; by forgiving and by being forgiven. When you’re in the position of needing to forgive someone, don’t forgive them because they necessarily deserve forgiveness, forgive them because you deserve peace; and so that you can release all negative emotions and experience freedom.
If you find yourself on the contrary, whereby you have wronged someone and you are hoping for forgiveness from that person, the only thing you can do is let them know you acknowledge that you’ve wronged them, you regret what you’ve don’t and hope that someday forgiveness will be possible. You have to allow the person to heal and the process to unfold naturally.
Are you clinging onto something that you could let go of by forgiving the situation? If you’re struggling then here are some steps you can take:
– Identify exactly why you’re struggling to forgive and what it is that’s holding you back from setting yourself free of the situation. What are you clinging on to? Dig deep to understand yourself and why this is happening.
– Focus your energy into looking for a way to meet positive goals. Rather than focusing on the experience that has hurt you.
– Let go. Practice a forgiveness meditation (there are great ones for this on the Calm app)
– Remind yourself that forgiveness is for you and no one else.
Remember: Forgiveness rarely returns us to things as they were and relationships must change after forgiveness otherwise it just becomes a form of denial.