I write this blogpost because my relationship with myself is something that I regularly work on. It has in fact been one of the main things I’ve focused on since ‘rebooting my routine’ at the start of September. I am not the sort to punish myself daily, but I can go through phases where I’m ‘not on my own side’ and I hate it! Being aware of the unkind voice in one’s head indicates a lack of self-acceptance and self-love, but I find that addressing it helps eliminate it!
I have previously mentioned the importance of a healthy relationship with yourself, and I feel it’s often the relationship that’s most neglected which is why I’m drawing in on it. So what exactly is a ‘healthy relationship with yourself’? Something along the lines of being able to love and respect who you are, for everything you are.
Part of having a good relationship with yourself is by considering yourself everyday, this consideration includes self-love, self-care, self-respect and goodwill. The other part is knowing exactly what it is that makes you tick; a routine that energises you, a career that you really want to be in, the relationships you cherish (and the ones that really should be ditched), the foods that work for you… And the ones that don’t, the way you spend your time and money etc.
Some steps to help with your self-love:
Let Go of Judgement – generally our judgement of others is an extension of self judgement and judgement has its way when it comes to holding you back from living a rich and meaningful life. Mindfulness can really help with this, learning how to become aware of your thoughts is a crucial step towards releasing this pattern. You can also interrupt every time you feel a judgement coming along, “What do I really know about this person?” and I can assure you it’ll ease the judgement! Also try switching the judgement to praise, try thinking of something you like about that person.
Embrace your Inner Perfectionist – perfectionism is to do with fear, worry and self-doubt – all of which we would rather not encounter, I’m sure. When I say ‘embrace’ your inner perfectionist, what I mean is that you don’t want to battle with it because it will win! You need to just learn the times when it’s ok to let the inner perfectionist have the final say. For example, spending the extra time perfecting your work or the way you do things that really matter to you but let go of the perfectionist-voice that puts you down if you happen to fall short in any area. If you’re struggling with perfectionism, try to gently influence your inner-perfectionist to consider other perspectives. Be patient, this will take time!
Practice Being Grateful for Your Body – this is something that I know many (often including myself) find hard, but gratitude can change your life. Take a few minutes each morning, before getting dressed to practice gratitude for your body in the mirror.
Be Kind to Yourself – practice self-care, by this I mean get yourself into a good routine of taking care of your basic needs. Nourish yourself daily by eating the right foods, get good night’s sleep and enjoying doing what you love with the people you love.
Embrace Your Individuality – don’t allow yourself to feel the pressure of having to be someone you’re not. Be true to who you are.